☠Re: need your advice
(too old to reply)
Elaine Mcqueen
2017-07-13 17:25:17 UTC

I'm writing an article and I think you can help me with some issues, please take a look http://ipisu.ru/progress.php?9e9f

Cheers, Elaine Mcqueen

From: uClinux development list [mailto:uClinux-***@uclinux.org]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2017 12:25 PM
To: ***@free.fr
Subject: Brokeback Mountain

I come from a less conservative country than you and totally agree with you that teens your sister's age are definitely full of hormones. Any unmonitored form of communication will eventually turn into a way to be inappropriate with those of the opposite sex because their design by nature is to have sex.

So the issue isnt really the phone, it's why she keeps doing things that she knows are explicitly wrong. Again i think this rebellion, especially when growing up in a conservative place, is natural. All of the messages being sent by her brain are telling her thats she's attracted to boys but all the messages she's getting from her society tell her that only bad girls do the things she wants to do. She cries when you confront her because she's embarassed and doesnt want you to think less of her and probably has no idea how to talk about things. Ive been there!!

Without a good mix of communication and discipline, she will just continue to feel she's a bad girl and do the things she knows are wrong. Hopefully you can avoid this by helping her talk to someone who wont judge her, understanding that in conservative patriarchal countries, her dad and male relatives are probably not the best choices regardless of how nice they are. Perhaps a friend of the family, older female cousin, or an aunt can do it.

She has to learn that her feelings of wanting to do these things with boys are natural and that its ok to have those thoughts. But she also has to learn from this trusted person that there are good reasons why she can't focus on those things at this age of her life. Texting and sending dirty pictures will make the boy want these things in real life and might even get her a reputation that can cause her harm if people find out. Her main focus has to be school so she can continue the life that she wants to lead and not be stuck with fewer choices if she has to get married early. If she gets pregnant early in life, in your country there may be many more repurcussions that she doesnt want.

She needs someone to talk to so she can talk about her feelings and situation. Who is the boy? When does she see him? Has she kissed him? Does she understand how to respect herself and teach boys to respect her back? Does she know how to be liked without giving all of herself? These are things that would best be discussed with an older female whom she trusts and who you and your parents trust to help her figure things out,

Finally if she cant control herself, the phone has to go. There has to be follow through - you cant give a 16 year old girl the message that she cant text or talk to boys but here's a phone and i expect you to magically behave perfectly now. Privledges can be earned but if shes handed things with minimal effort she will just get better at hiding things from you.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Sent from Mail for Windows 10